Predictably, I got sick over the Thanksgiving holiday, and with some unshakeable super-virus flu that’s still lingering. I blame it on the flu shot I got before Thanksgiving! Not to be all Scully or Mulder but something just wasn’t right about it (and ‘the truth is out there’). I say predictably, because, sitting here spritzing myself with throat spray under a blanket between guilty carb treats, I have some vague recollection of illness-involved Thanksgivings past (actually ‘Misgivings past’ is more appropriate).

My most notable and cringe-worthy memory goes back to the ’90s when I lived in New York. I hopped on a train to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins in Connecticut. But right before T-day, I got some wretched stomach flu and was out for the rest of my stay, eating congee for days. By the time the last day of my trip rolled around, I was so starving that I ate a whole fish platter at a local mom n’ pop diner in town. When we walked out into the parking lot I lost control and barfed in broad daylight–in front of my family’s favorite eatery (what a terrible advertisement for the place…what passer-by could ever bring themselves to dine there after that sight?)

When I was really little and struck by the early Winter flu it was always a thrill–a great reason to stay home from school. I would lay in bed and pore over “The Sick of Being Sick Book,” a clever tome designed specifically for the occasion. Loaded with weirdo recipes and activities, it made bacteria fun.

And then, of course there have been those joyous occasions when I’ve been in a relationship during flu season. Let’s just face it: there’s nothing like good sex to make you forget about that nagging cough, and nothing else breaks a fever as efficiently.

If above-mentioned cure is unavailable or you’d like to keep the mirage and luster going with your lovers (although, I’ll tell you, boys, you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced the ‘coughing trick’), there are other enjoyable ways to pass the time. I like to lay on the couch perusing ‘yuppie porn,’ a.k.a. the Williams-Sonoma catalogue. Ooh, a monogrammed cocktail shaker. Ah, the De Buyer crepe pan set. And, only for lovers of hardcore: the letting-it-all-hang-out coffeemakers spread. One of its pictorials reads: “the latest in coffee and espresso technology.” Wow, “espresso technology,” one small shot for man, one giant shot for mankind. In all honesty, I’ve become so enamored of this catalogue that you might as well call me the Larry Flynt of yuppie porn.

Ultimately, I like to look at the rest provided by the first flu of the season as a sort of much-needed interim period and catharsis. You’re releasing the ghosts of Thanksgivings Past, so to speak and making room for the upcoming holiday season–parties galore, ale, smooches under the mistletoe and that hand-me-down fruitcake that keeps going around (which–not to be snobby or anything, but in my circle is actually a pannetone). It’s a time to ponder where you’ve been and where you’re going, to plot your next moves…and to learn to love the smell of menthol in the morning…cough…

I’m well aware that this blog’s title conjures up images from a Luc Besson film. It’s subject may seem, to some, equally sci-fi. Carl Calleman, a writer/acquaintance of mine, is a Swedish biomedical scientist who served as a cancer expert at the World Health Organization. He’s recently become better known for his theory on the Mayan Calendar. He challenges the December 21, 2012 end-date traditionally accepted as fact and claims to have re-calculated the end date to true accuracy at October 28, 2011. Along with the new calculations came his chronology of paradigm shifts–each upheld by a different “energy” and drawing humanity closer to the pinnacle of its evolution.

According to his book, “The Mayan Calendar,” we just shifted to a period he dubs ”The Fifth Night” and will be in this energy transformation phase for approximately one year. The Night is ruled by the energy and God of darkness and portends much catastrophe, losses, destruction, etc. The way Carl calculates it, during the Fifth Night of the previous cycle (which was the universal cycle; we are now in the galactic cycle), World War II took place and of course the rise of fascism, Hitler, the holocaust, etc. It’s interesting to note that in Jyotish, a.k.a. vedic astrology–which employs the scientifically accurate sidereal system of the precession of the equinoxes not used in traditional western ”entertainment” astrology– late 2007-2008 is deemed the “dreaded year.” This is partly due to the placement of the lunar nodes vis-a-vis Saturn (restrictive planet), as well as Mars retrograde, which recently began and will last through February.

Of course if you’re a skeptic, you can simply throw the above information in your mental waste paper basket and simply watch the news depicting increasingly alarming “extreme weather” caused by climate change, soaring gas prices, looming inflations, currency devaluations, war in Iraq, volatility in the Middle East in general, super-viruses, animal extinction, corrupt administrations, genocides, etc. and you get the dismal picture.

My point in writing all of this is not to buzz-kill everyone, but rather to examine The Fifth Night (or if you prefer, in non-New Age-speak, this coming year) and understand what our task is as evolving human beings. It is interesting that during “The Fifth Day,” this past year (a period of the breakthrough of Christ Consciousness which coincided with global awareness and unity around ecology and the “manifestation/co-creation” movement) Calleman made a big to-do and held a telephonic global diksha meditation to ‘usher the light in.’ Yet his site says nothing about preparations for The Fifth Night and its so-called energy of darkness (other than some fire and brimstone warnings and predictions), nor have I received any info via his email list on new global meditations to help usher this energy in. It’s still early, I will give it the benefit of the doubt.

If we’re to believe that there is an evolution of consciouness and that periodically we receive “upgrades” like a computer does (for lack of better analogy) then why would we completely negate and fear the upgrade offered during “The Fifth Night?” When I was going through my ‘late sixties period’ I examined how, even in the mainstream, there was a fascination with dark occultish forces which were expressed through rock n’ roll culture. It made me think about how man is neither good nor evil and that these are constructs of simplicity fed to us by simple men who wish life could be this black and white.

Like the Yin-Yang symbol, we’re a little bit dark, brooding, carnal and destructive and a little bit light, optimistic, ethereal and creative. That is the tension of life. Or, in pop layman’s terms, we’re a little bit country, we’re a little bit rock n’ roll. So, it is my strong feeling that we are not supposed to ignore and fear so-called dark forces during this particularly destructive period. I believe we are meant to come to terms with our shadow sides, as Jung calls it, to embrace our inner demons and not fear them. At the nexus of the light and dark is “human.” We’re just humans doing the best we can–faltering and falling prey to our weaknesses at times and being benevolent and godlike at other times.

It is also my sense that during this period, the tide is turning. Those of us who have been living unconsciously will figuratively (or literally) die. Those who have a conscious path will turn a corner. Just as technology is drawing us closer to telepathy and a global brain, so our consciousness is nearing its own heightened sensory point. And as the energies rise we must learn to flow fearlessly through, WITH them. Sure, we have to stay positive, be true to ourselves, be grateful, connect with others and all that good hippie stuff. But we cannot afford to abandon our so-called dark sides. Doing this will turn them into boogymen under the bed and empower them as adversaries (rather than greet them as necessary flaws through which to learn about ourselves).

Look what happened to the Republicans who shunned homosexuals and then secretly engaged in illicit homosexual activity. They turned away from their own demons instead of trying to understand them and in effect brought about their downfalls.

So, very serious entry this week, I know. But I feel it’s important to offer some guidance during this segue period–instead of simply saying ‘resist the darkness.’ I say, go towards the darkness, fearlessly, knowing that it’s not going to hurt you. It’s actually ironically going to enlighten you.

I could site solidarity with the writers’ strike or Veteran’s Day excuses, and they’d be accurate. But the truth is, I’m just taking a much-needed blog break this week. Apologies, be back next week (or sooner if the muse visits).

As an addendum to my last entry detailing the problem with men in L.A. and their childish attire…I bring you this image. I was discussing the problem and subject of my previous blog with my buddy John sitting at a bar on Sunset and I looked up and saw a billboard for Vince Vaughn’s new movie, “Fred Claus,” containing the above depiction of said actor riding a three-wheeler. It pretty much visually summarizes my issue with men in this town…